the "friend" zone

Well this has been an interesting adventure...



I have asked the questions, gotten some of the answers...and I feel a wealth of clarity, and a host of confusion. But all the while I feel much better about the situation. The "what are we?" is gone...we are friends. Friends that may well have gone WAY too far out of the friend zone for a spell. But friends nevertheless.



My pride is wounded for sure. I feel a strange naked vulnerability as I sit typing this. I have never before been so incredibly open and honest with my feelings. Never before have I laid my wants and desires on the line like that. I am not sure how I feel about this. Partly I feel regret. I feel that maybe he didn't deserve to know how I felt, or even for me to feel that way. And I also feel as though the fact that I laid it all on the line, and said what I had to say strengthened me. I suppose both sides of this coin are true. If it was all game with him maybe he didn't deserve for me to allow myself to fall for him. But nevertheless, when I find a man who isn't running game on me, I will be able to show my feelings. And that is a very good thing.



I am not saying he completely was running a game. But if he was...well he is the fucking master game-runner. The nice guy...who genuinely cares for you...is chivelrous to you...makes you feel like he wants to be with you...and then you cross the line and become WAY more than friends physically. But he still calls it friends who are enjoying eachother... Is it just me or is that a really warped view? YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX WITH YOUR FRIENDS! Sorry Charlie.

Live and learn... bolster your strength, and see the world through another viewpoint.