Back to work...
A part of me feels as though I never left, and yet another part of me feels as though I haven't been here in years. Same old stuff. Some things have changed and far too many faces have changed in 6 weeks, but all in all the beast remains the same. Same cantankerous ungrateful patients, same grumbly coworkers, same everything. I missed it though. Boy did I miss it. I missed my friends and my work. Missed using my brain. Missed the ridiculousness of being awake all night, most every night.
I missed the completely inappropriate discussions with coworkers and the incredibly wise advice they offer...
While out on my medical adventure, I did a lot of thinking and some soul searching as well. Even a bit of dating. As of late I've been back in the dating world full force. And that's all the same too. Just learned a lot more...
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
used items
Used items are always cheap, but are rarely worth the bargain. For the money saved may well be paid in inconvenience.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
out for the count
here I sit... BORED AS HELL.
I could and should be doing oh so many things. But no. I sit here thinking. I should be writing my paper. 4-6 pages due tomorrow at midnight. But I think I'll wait. I have more than 24 hours...
Ah procrastination. So evil, and so good. Guess that adrenaline rush I get at the last few hours before a deadline is pretty potent...and I like it.
Anyhoo. I had surgery last week. Ouch. I know the drill though. It's something I've done a time or 8 before. Off for 6 weeks. No work. No nothing right now. Just recoup.
WTF? Seriously? Me. The do 47 things in an hour. Leave the house at 6a don't get back til 2a kinda gal. Work work work. Work an extra. Work work work. Do this. Do that. Go here. Go there. GO GO GO! Nope. Can't. Not at all.
Drove 4 blocks yesterday and got tired and sore. Taking naps. Sleeping through the night. What?! Barf.
I am being a good little patient--FOR ONCE-- and taking it easy. But why is 'taking it easy' so damn hard?
I'm ready to feel like me. To be running around at decapitated chicken status again. To be tearing down the trail on my bike at full speed. Cranking out those pedals. Feeling the wind in my hair (through my helmet naturally). I want to be burnin' that candle at both ends.
Soon. Soon I shall. But for now I shall sit back and chill. For once in my life I'll allow it.
Another movie? Si.
I could and should be doing oh so many things. But no. I sit here thinking. I should be writing my paper. 4-6 pages due tomorrow at midnight. But I think I'll wait. I have more than 24 hours...
Ah procrastination. So evil, and so good. Guess that adrenaline rush I get at the last few hours before a deadline is pretty potent...and I like it.
Anyhoo. I had surgery last week. Ouch. I know the drill though. It's something I've done a time or 8 before. Off for 6 weeks. No work. No nothing right now. Just recoup.
WTF? Seriously? Me. The do 47 things in an hour. Leave the house at 6a don't get back til 2a kinda gal. Work work work. Work an extra. Work work work. Do this. Do that. Go here. Go there. GO GO GO! Nope. Can't. Not at all.
Drove 4 blocks yesterday and got tired and sore. Taking naps. Sleeping through the night. What?! Barf.
I am being a good little patient--FOR ONCE-- and taking it easy. But why is 'taking it easy' so damn hard?
I'm ready to feel like me. To be running around at decapitated chicken status again. To be tearing down the trail on my bike at full speed. Cranking out those pedals. Feeling the wind in my hair (through my helmet naturally). I want to be burnin' that candle at both ends.
Soon. Soon I shall. But for now I shall sit back and chill. For once in my life I'll allow it.
Another movie? Si.
Monday, June 22, 2009
the nice guy...
Yup...the nice guy. The charming, sweet, loving, well-mannered nice guy.
You know what they say: "Nice guys finish last."
Why do they say that? Well, it just might be true...
The nice guy. The damn nice guy. The one I always fall for. Well it's a crock. Truth is: nice guys aren't nice at all. They just don't have the stones to be a man. They are pussies. They play this game with you and buttercup you, making you think they are genuine and they care for you. But really they are just too lily-livered to to be men and say what they really think or feel.
No. That might hurt your feelings. Awww...and then they'd cry. What the fuck ever. I'm sorry, but I am completely okay with hurting someone's feelings. The truth is the truth. And if it hurts, well damn that's part of life. In case no one ever told you.
I fucking hate nice guys. I think that the nice guy, who is too afraid to tell you anything so he leads you on, is more of an asshole than that guy who is just a plain old outright asshole. At least the guy who is an asshole is man enough to be...well A MAN.
You know what they say: "Nice guys finish last."
Why do they say that? Well, it just might be true...
The nice guy. The damn nice guy. The one I always fall for. Well it's a crock. Truth is: nice guys aren't nice at all. They just don't have the stones to be a man. They are pussies. They play this game with you and buttercup you, making you think they are genuine and they care for you. But really they are just too lily-livered to to be men and say what they really think or feel.
No. That might hurt your feelings. Awww...and then they'd cry. What the fuck ever. I'm sorry, but I am completely okay with hurting someone's feelings. The truth is the truth. And if it hurts, well damn that's part of life. In case no one ever told you.
I fucking hate nice guys. I think that the nice guy, who is too afraid to tell you anything so he leads you on, is more of an asshole than that guy who is just a plain old outright asshole. At least the guy who is an asshole is man enough to be...well A MAN.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
the hurdle
It's been jumped. I jumped the hurdle. The 'Get Your Ass Back Out There' hurdle.
Dates :). First dates are the best. The flirting. The stories. The butterflies.
The art of the distraction. And hey, quite possibly the sexiest Army boy ever could have something to do with the distraction level >:). Gawd. I know. Army boys. Shit. Every girl has their something. Their kryptonite. Mine just so happens to be a combination of the Latino boys, and the military boys. Some women love firemen, some EMS, Cops, murses, whatever it is, there is that something that gets them everytime. Mine is military boys...preferably of the Latin variety. Lucky for me this is a military town...with more than a few of those oh so sexy Spanish-speaking-brown-eyed yummies.
Anyhoo... the move. Yup. Moving on. Someone new...well a couple someones (something from the norm {cam + Latin} and something a little different for a change). A girl's got a right to play the field a little, no? It's high time I get my ass out on the field and play it for all it's got :)
Dates :). First dates are the best. The flirting. The stories. The butterflies.
The art of the distraction. And hey, quite possibly the sexiest Army boy ever could have something to do with the distraction level >:). Gawd. I know. Army boys. Shit. Every girl has their something. Their kryptonite. Mine just so happens to be a combination of the Latino boys, and the military boys. Some women love firemen, some EMS, Cops, murses, whatever it is, there is that something that gets them everytime. Mine is military boys...preferably of the Latin variety. Lucky for me this is a military town...with more than a few of those oh so sexy Spanish-speaking-brown-eyed yummies.
Anyhoo... the move. Yup. Moving on. Someone new...well a couple someones (something from the norm {cam + Latin} and something a little different for a change). A girl's got a right to play the field a little, no? It's high time I get my ass out on the field and play it for all it's got :)
Sunday, May 31, 2009
jack be nimble jack be quick...
The letting go. Letting go of what? Of the hope that it would "work out," that he'd change his mind...that it would get good again. It's done. It has been from the start.
Maybe on some level I knew this. I knew that somehow this would never work. Maybe that's why I wanted it so much. God I have never wanted any earthly thing so much. I wanted so much. But yet I was scared shitless. I'd never admit that, but I was. I thought for once I wasn't afraid, but I was more afraid than ever. How did I become such a damn pansy?
Guess I always was...'twas all an act.
So here I stand, poised to let him go. To walk away. To admit that it's done. To say I'm done. It's a good thing I know, but damn if it doesn't hurt like hell.
Makes me think...(what else is new?) I used to believe that if it was meant to be it would be. Nice thought. Comforts a hurting heart. But who knows...maybe some things work and some don't, and that's just the way it is. Maybe people are in your life for a season, and they exit. End. Sometimes they come back, but not usually...
Anyhoo I made a good step forward today. Someone new. Guess I'll be in limbo for a while yet. But I can handle the limbo...
Maybe on some level I knew this. I knew that somehow this would never work. Maybe that's why I wanted it so much. God I have never wanted any earthly thing so much. I wanted so much. But yet I was scared shitless. I'd never admit that, but I was. I thought for once I wasn't afraid, but I was more afraid than ever. How did I become such a damn pansy?
Guess I always was...'twas all an act.
So here I stand, poised to let him go. To walk away. To admit that it's done. To say I'm done. It's a good thing I know, but damn if it doesn't hurt like hell.
Makes me think...(what else is new?) I used to believe that if it was meant to be it would be. Nice thought. Comforts a hurting heart. But who knows...maybe some things work and some don't, and that's just the way it is. Maybe people are in your life for a season, and they exit. End. Sometimes they come back, but not usually...
Anyhoo I made a good step forward today. Someone new. Guess I'll be in limbo for a while yet. But I can handle the limbo...
Saturday, May 30, 2009
girl like me...
Girl Like Me
Miranda Lambert
You don't need a girl like me
I've got bruises you can't see
And when the lights go outI won't be around
You don't need a girl like me
You can't have a heart like mine
But you can hold it for a while
And when the lights go outI won't be around
You can't have a heart like mine
There's a rule that goes unwritten
And I break it from time to time
If you're fool enough to listen
Then I'm fool enough to lie
That's the kind of girl I am
I take off before I land
And even though you think you can
You can't change the way I am
Cause the rule remains unwritten
I still break it from time to time
If you're fool enough to listen
Then I'm fool enough to lie
You can't change the way I am
You don't need a girl like me
Miranda Lambert
You don't need a girl like me
I've got bruises you can't see
And when the lights go outI won't be around
You don't need a girl like me
You can't have a heart like mine
But you can hold it for a while
And when the lights go outI won't be around
You can't have a heart like mine
There's a rule that goes unwritten
And I break it from time to time
If you're fool enough to listen
Then I'm fool enough to lie
That's the kind of girl I am
I take off before I land
And even though you think you can
You can't change the way I am
Cause the rule remains unwritten
I still break it from time to time
If you're fool enough to listen
Then I'm fool enough to lie
You can't change the way I am
You don't need a girl like me
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